… Třesk trubky po boku
a mračna vyschlých mušek
Dál smrti otroku
tvůj chromý koník kluše
Však ho čas unaví
(a náklad bývá těžký)
pak v prachu zastaví
a mrtví dojdou pěšky
(Tony Mravel, Užiteční mrtví)
"Tak se měj, Čarny," řekla statečně. Dalo se pochopit, a každej citlivější chlap ti to potvrdí, že to neříká prvně a že to sakra dobře zná, chuť loučení a chuť opuštěnosti, což je sakra něco horšího než prostá samota, ještě tady jsi, Čarny, ale za chvíli nebudeš, nasedneš do vlaku a ten tě doveze do lepšího města, kde svítí víc lamp a světlo výkladů s blikáním reklam si tě přitáhnou jako chudáka můru, než se objeví nová oběť… Zatřepal hlavou, aby si přestal myslet, že je citlivej chlap, kterej docela chápe rozcuchanou ženskou ve dveřích z chladu domu do mlhy venku, tu ženskou, co ho už nebaví.
Vykročil a přemýšlel o kriminalizaci drog a jak si to ty zasraný spořádaný poslanci představujou a kdo to má vydržet věčně na suchu, protože chlast mu strkali místo mlíčka ve školce a cigarety v první třídě, a co zbejvá pak? Pak už teda jenom otrava.
A přemýšlel o novém zaměstnání, až skončí víkend, tenhle nebo ten další nebo jinej, beztak to bude zase flek vrátnýho, co má pistolku pro parádu, na bodygarda už nemáš, na to seš starej, přestože ženský na tebe letí…
Odsouzen k práci a střízlivosti, k betonu a trávě na pěšinku. Kde je lov a krev a horká bolest, čerstvá a trhající maso, ne zatuchlá a hnusná z terminálních stadií rakoviny a na co že to statisticky nejvíc umíráme? Infarkty? Demence? Ať, stejně tam čuchám zatuchlinu. Kde zůstalo vzrušení, sakra?
Uslyšel hudbu. Chmurně řinčela krokem otroků na jednom řetězu, dusala jako kopyta koní se zabijáky v sedle, naříkala jako všechny oběti všech vrahů světa. Nad tím vším práskal bič. A něco to zatraceně připomínalo.
Potom se ozval ten kleštěnecký hlas a Čarny si vzpomněl a věděl, že majitel hlasu není (sakra, nebyl!) žádnej kleštěnec, ani náhodou, a to dosvědčí desítky holek a levobočků, no, holt pravobočky neměl… A začal se cítit blbě.
Táhlo ho to až do sklepa, kde zkoušeli. Minul plakáty, amatérské a křiklavé DNES hraje k tanci skupina Brak nebo Šmejd, tak nějak, jenomže na mě si nepřijdete, milánci, hlas Tonyho Mravela já poznám, je to past, zezačátku nic moc, než vám naskočí husí kůže, a nejenom holkám. Tony je ale přece… Něco v něm to zašeptalo a honem umlklo.
Byl na místě, pár schodů, plechové dveře, a není to sklep, ale sál, za barem chlap leští sklenice a šteluje barevnou hudbu, kde vzal tu vykopávku, dneska nad tím každej ohrne frňák, každej kromě starožitníka, ten zaváhá, než řekne ještě ne.
"Nazdar," hrne se k němu chlápek, "potřebuju tě, Čarny, až se lidi vodvážou, bude to chtít pevnou ruku, a nesmíš se zfetovat hned zkraje!" Barman má bílou kštici nad čelem do fialova a na kohouta, tohle frčelo v roce raz dva, odkud mě tahleta zřícenina zná?
Kluci na pódiu se přestali dohadovat a spustili Cestu tam. Čarny otevřel pusu a pozadu kecl na barovou stoličku.
"Stojíme spolu na mostě a po koruně prodáváme štěstí,
než černej vůdce s mačetou proseká cestu klestím…"
Tony umí (sakra, uměl!) rozbrečet a ten kluk, co si říká (říkal) Doomy, u muzeálního syntetizátoru, do toho dělá svoje Hmmm, hmmm basem, kterej děsí i beze slov. Myslel jsem na infrazvuk, tehdy, vzpomněl si Čarny.
Nechal se unést a poslouchal dál, i když zkouška skončila, měl přece jejich hity v hlavě, nebo možná ne, jeho mozek, to zařízení, propitý a zvalchovaný vším, co se čichá, šňupe nebo píchá, je na hovno, ale srdce to ví. Nebo duše, ta se vznáší nad pitomým zdevastovaným tělem a zpívá s nima jako černej andělíček.
Bliky, blik! Světla, halas, první pití, co ještě ochutnáš a vychutnáváš, čtyřiadvacet hodin na suchu, aby ti taky nechutnalo! A pozor, nepij rychle, je to škoda, ať omámení stoupá od rozehřátých nohou zdráhajícíma se žilama a pumpujícím srdcem do hlavy jako sen, jako pomalu, s rozvahou začátku večera nalévaná sklenice, jsi sklenice a čekají tě zážitky, které vousatí nebo vyholení debilové, vševědové a akademici odmítají vzít pod střechu Umění. Možná proto, že tady pár lidí dovede nadělat víc hluku než symfonickej orchestr. A bez fraků.
Vlídný barman se bez mrknutí mění v manažera a konferenciéra. "Anxias Morgenstern vás vítá! Poslouchejte, tančete a bavte se bezvadně! Hraje vám skupina Užiteční mrtví! (jásot, potlesk, pískání) Nemusím snad představovat… Ale já je stejně představím. Tony Mravel! (pokřik. Mladík, skoro kluk, potřásá vlasy bez trvalé, tehdy se to nenosilo, uklání se) Doomy! (pokřik, dupání, kluk se šklebí, bouchne do bubnu, syntetizátor zakvílí) Jawel Sawly! (skoro kluk s copánkem zamává kytarou, potlesk) Clabiree Jon! (cení zuby v černé tváři, válečné barvy Indiánů se na černou kůži nehodí, ale vem to čert, všem se líbí) A už hrajeme!!"
Čarny pomáhal trhat lístky, naléval, myl sklenice. Pil a tančil a snad si to u hajzlíků rozdal s jednou nažhavenou, ale možná se mu jenom tak připletla vzpomínka z tehdy, protože zrovna hráli Kurvičku z inzerátu, vzpomínky byly všude, šlapal po nich a odmítal si připustit, že právě tohle je ta jediná noc v roce, no a co, za rok bude další, a já se toho nevzdám, nevzdám, už nikdy!
Nedalo se netančit. Kluci a holky, co o Užitečných mrtvých slyšeli od rodičů, šíleli stejně jako kdysi oni. Čtyři kluci na pódiu nepřestávali hrát. Jen když se museli napít a opláchnout.
Vešel do šatny s tácem piv a koly. Pro něj hudba neumlkala, měl ji v hlavě (houby, to už jsme si vysvětlili) a vůbec. Tony seděl v koutě, Doomy se sprchoval, Clabiree si opravoval válečné nalíčení a Jawel si aranžoval diamanty, rubíny a smaragdy na vestě.
"Ahoj," usmál se Tony. "Ty seš Čarny! Pamatuju si tě."
"Fandil jsem vám. Strašně mi to chybí." Čarny mu podal pivo.
Tony si ho vzal, ale najednou měl nejistý pohled a ve tváři úzkost. "Je po půlnoci, po pauze hrajeme Kočár ke hřbitovu… Děje se něco? Není něco trošku jinak?"
Jawel se otočil od zrcadla. "Lidi jsou jiný. Fajn, ale jiný. Anxiáš nám něco neřek, jo?"
Doomy vylezl ze sprchy. Litoval jsem, že nejsem teplej, vybavil si Čarny. Tenhle kluk je kus. A vždycky hraje napůl nahej… Teda. Hrával.
"Promluv, Čarny," řekl Tony Mravel.
Čarny se roztřásl. Žádnej z těch čtyř není blbec. Něco jim dochází… "Já to nechci vědět," zanaříkal jako ten kluk z první řady, velkej fanda a šílenec, ale děsně mladej, jako oni, a hlas mu zazněl zrovna tak jako tehdy u televize, když to oznámili ve zprávách a ukázali převrácenej mikrobus, všecko černý, jak to hořelo, a už nikdy.
"Jsi to ty, ale starší," řekl Tony tiše. "Dělej. Musíme hrát. A je po půlnoci. Až zakokrhá kohout…"
"Ty to víš, Tony!" Čarny si slízl slzy ze rtu. "Je to osmnáct let. Já tehdy skončil s váma. Od tý doby za nic nestojím. Vyhořel jsem jako ten váš auťák."
Bez projevu kněze jenom v sále zhasni
a pak doprovoď nás až na hranici
Můj domovní zvonek drnčí dole v pekle
tam my teďka hrajem pro netančící
Tony horečně naškrábl poslední noty. Anxias Morgenstern strčil dovnitř hlavu. "Honem, jdeme na to, kluci!"
Čarny šel taky. Brečel a poslouchal a tančil, a možná fakt ojel nějakou holku, ale to nevěděl určitě. Noc se valila přes něj jako tank a taky že ho parádně převálcovala. Ta poslední písnička! Neznal ji. Zatraceně, a oni jakbysmet! Koukali si přes ramena do not, Tony je nadrásal na papír o přestávce, a když zpíval, měl divnej pohled a holky bulily a natahovaly se k němu…
Někdo mu třásl ramenem. Policajt. Zamžoural. Zdálky se ozval důvěryhodný hlas, blížil se a sílil. "…můj člověk. Pomáhá mi udržovat pořádek. To víte, bylo to náročný."
"V pohodě," broukl policista. "Nikdo nás nevolal. Sem tady na obchůzce. Holka dorazila kránu, celá bez sebe… Ale menovala tu kapelu jinak než na plakátě. Něco vo mrtvejch."
"To ty morbidní názvy písniček," pravil poučně Morgenstern. "Samej hrob a mrtvola."
Policista rozšafně pokýval a vyhrabal se po schodech na světlo. Tolik světla, to nepřežiju, myslel si Čarny. Dejte mi provaz! Oprátku, nebo aspoň kravatu! Dejte mi jed. Tak pro dvě osoby, ať je to nabeton. Pro stovku krys, copak nejsem krysa? Já je zradil, protože žiju, ale už nechci. Dejte mi revolver nebo aspoň pořádnej střep, velkej, ostrej střep…
"Za rok si tě zas najdu."
Trhl sebou. Morgenstern na něj mluvil. "Najdu tě. Potřebuju tě. Jednou za rok, v tuhle noc, chápeš? Moji malí Šmejdi si klidně chrápou, mají volno. Pochopil jsi to všecko?"
"Asi jo," hlesl Čarny.
Morgenstern se napřímil. "Takže, Filipe Czarnere, uzavírám s tebou ústní smlouvu. Jde o příležitostnou organizační pomoc při vystoupení skupiny Šmejdi. Zhruba jednou do roka."
"A bude to pokaždý stejný?" zeptal se Čarny nejistě. Viděl, jak Tony trpěl! To nechtěl. "Ty samý písničky?"
Morgenstern udiveně pokrčil rameny. "Jak jinak? Jsou mrtví. Můžou hrát jenom svoje starý písničky. Tony už nikdy nic nenapíše."
Až venku, na tom světle k nepřežití, se Čarny odvážil vytáhnout notový papír s Tonyho nejnovější písní. Zhluboka vydechl. Třeba to nebude hit. Vlastně určitě ne. Zavřel oči před sluncem, ale jenom na chvíli, brzy je otevře. Věřím, že je něco víc než osud a peklo! Možná věřím, že se můžu vrátit k té ženě, i když mě už obrečela. Věřím, že můžu napsat báseň, zasadit strom nebo ksakru aspoň spravit střechu, když do baráku teče.
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Fascinating. This project is one of the most worthwhile köpek kovucu annotations in the blogging realm and this episode really defines the whole thing for me.
I have been busily downloading fare kovucu these interviews and burning them either to my dreadful little MP3 player or to a CD and have so far had a few hours of tüy dökücü pleasure on my commutes. (Parenthetically, I read with amusement on Julie’s blog about her dislike of fellow commuters yüz beyazlatıcı wearing ear-bud headphones on the subway; hey Julie I was listening to you!)
I don’t know if my download failed in some way or if Mr. Lydon had some technical problems, but the audio quality of this interview seems much lower than his others. Has anybody else noticed this? I’m thinking I should re-download the mp3 and try again.
Where guys like Winer, Searls and Sifry are interesting,tüy dökücü krem they are still insiders in this whole phenomenon. Listening to Powell you hear a real gee ağrı kesici whiz in her voice. She knows just enough to get the job done and not enough to be scared of the consequences. Catching ağrı kesici krem up on her blog has been great fun and I suspect her days in a dead-end job are numbered.
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